Put the Lice in the Coconut and ...what?

I thought I had a promising career as a Walmart fish keeper in my future. My fish were dying faster than a blond in a horror flick. Last night, I was removing a slow moving floater from one of my tanks, so he could die in peace overnight when I realized he was COVERED WITH BUGS. Bugs that look just like a face-hugger. You know, from Aliens. I realized that parasitic infection by extraterrestrial organisms was really unlikely, so I took the infested fish to Someone who Knows--this is a marine biology school after all.

It's an Argulus, or Fish Louse. They're crabs. My fish are lousy with them.

Great. Just Great. Unlike the terrestrial lice, I can't put all the fishes pillows in the dryer or shave their heads. I called every aquarium shop or fish farm in the area. Turns out insecticide is the best treatment for these nasty crabs. I found some. I drained tanks, I poured some in. We'll see how that goes.

In other news: They're preparing the campus for hurricane season. That means: tree pruning! That also means, they're cutting down all the coconuts so they don't turn into pina-projectiles during a storm. Apparently this is a big event because no sooner were the bunches of coconuts on the ground than people began scurrying around the grounds laying claim to them. There are bunches of coconuts scattered all over the lawn and each one has a paper sign on it...property of Dean's office...property of Print Shop...etc

I don't even know what you're supposed to do with a coconut, but if I use mangoes as a guide for the general deliciousness of things that come off trees here in Miami, then I know I want at least a dozen. I'll have to be quicker next year.